SHARK ALARM
The shark they chose as Head of School
called a meeting then and there;
dismissed the ones that called him fool
then opened with a word of prayer.
‘We know our ocean is the best,
better far than all the rest,
than any ocean east or west.
We know we’re number one. So there.
Some low-life creatures from afar
brought their problem over here.
I wonder who they think they are.
We’ll show the fin - they’ll turn in fear.
They envy us. They all admire us.
Ignore the sods who want to fire us.
We’re tougher than some niggly virus.
One day the thing will disappear.’
The shark then gave a toothy grin,
declared ‘My record-breaking brain
can deal with this. You’ll see. We’ll win.
Meanwhile, let’s go and feast again.
Everything will turn out fine.
Come on, I feel it’s time to dine.
I got the votes. The power is mine.
Losers lose. I’ve made that plain.’
Away they swam in mind to kill
whatever passed across their way;
swarms of tiddlers, coloured krill,
occasionally a castaway.
When they’d had their gourmet meal,
the fuhrer shark set forth a deal:
‘The time has come for getting real.
We’ve cruised the ocean, combed the bay.
We’ve made it clear. We own this place.
Any other claim is fake.
Our opposition’s a disgrace;
they’re wearing gags; they’re not awake.
It seems the world is all at sea-
the only hope you have is me.
I don’t like those who disagree-
so I’ll just eat them. Piece of cake.’
called a meeting then and there;
dismissed the ones that called him fool
then opened with a word of prayer.
‘We know our ocean is the best,
better far than all the rest,
than any ocean east or west.
We know we’re number one. So there.
Some low-life creatures from afar
brought their problem over here.
I wonder who they think they are.
We’ll show the fin - they’ll turn in fear.
They envy us. They all admire us.
Ignore the sods who want to fire us.
We’re tougher than some niggly virus.
One day the thing will disappear.’
The shark then gave a toothy grin,
declared ‘My record-breaking brain
can deal with this. You’ll see. We’ll win.
Meanwhile, let’s go and feast again.
Everything will turn out fine.
Come on, I feel it’s time to dine.
I got the votes. The power is mine.
Losers lose. I’ve made that plain.’
Away they swam in mind to kill
whatever passed across their way;
swarms of tiddlers, coloured krill,
occasionally a castaway.
When they’d had their gourmet meal,
the fuhrer shark set forth a deal:
‘The time has come for getting real.
We’ve cruised the ocean, combed the bay.
We’ve made it clear. We own this place.
Any other claim is fake.
Our opposition’s a disgrace;
they’re wearing gags; they’re not awake.
It seems the world is all at sea-
the only hope you have is me.
I don’t like those who disagree-
so I’ll just eat them. Piece of cake.’